where am i from again
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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