He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
