Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
