is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Hello my rib-scented angel!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
