Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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