sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
