they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
