Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
