im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Bring me that man meat
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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