Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
