i don't like sucking hair
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
