can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
