I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
