arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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