Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
