you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
