just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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