he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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