Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
