I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
