Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
