Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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