I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Randomize
