im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
