Non-Jews are for practice
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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