so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
