Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
A+ Viking dick
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
