the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
