I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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