Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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