Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Can you bring me the toilet please
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
