Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
