Pants 0. Shit 1.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
