kristin has been a bad kristin
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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