you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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