I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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