Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
