it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
