He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
