Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
My cat gives me a boner
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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