Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Randomize
