I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
