I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I love how my cats smell like pot.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
