question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
