How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
