your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
