he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
