every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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