Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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