she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
