And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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