I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
